I can't believe it's not butter
by capolleon
Summary: Percy and Leo do a collab video with the lovely Chapstick challenge, and one thing is for certain: Leo can't believe it's not butter.
"And this, is the end of my video." Percy waved into the camera. "Remember, like and subscribe for more funny videos! Comment below if you want to see anything!" Percy held his smile, until Nico nodded.

"We're done." Nico powered off the camera, and sighed. "Your zipper was undone the entire time."

Percy gasped. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Nico gave him a look. "This was the first time you actually managed not to trip. I think I'll just keep this take. I have to upload this to my laptop." Nico pulled out a cord from his backpack, and reached towards Percy's bed where his laptop laid.

"Great!" Percy stretched, popping his bones. "Maybe we'll get some more subscribers."

" _Yeah_ ," Nico said sarcastically. "It'll be just _great_ , if we got some new subscribers. I mean, it's not like their views, subscribes, and likes are why we get paid."

"Hey," Percy warned, opening his own laptop, and laid sprawled across the bed. "I can record this junk myself. Be a one man job."

"You can't edit for shit." Nico deadpanned.

"Whatever- _aw,_ hi Bessie!" Percy laughed, as his cat curled up on his keyboard. "Please, get off Daddy's computer. Daddy needs it to see if those two idiots uploaded another video. Don't you want Daddy to see that?"

"Calling yourself Daddy is disturbing," Nico commented, typing something out. "I'm sure your cat is traumatized."

"Bessie loves me," Percy stuck out his tongue, and picked up his cat. "Stay over there, you adorable fur ball."

"Ugh."

" _Ugh yourself, Nico_."

Percy signed into his YouTube account, the _FlyingPersea_. It was something he started four years ago, when he was only eighteen, and it had grown tremendously. Currently at 21 million subscribers, Percy and Nico had gotten just _so far._

And then… there was those two idiots. The two idiots who managed to get over 20 million subscribers in less than two years. After some Internet stalking, Percy knew that they lived in his area, nearly a mile or so away, and they were roommates.

The duo, _jasonleonican_ , had some pretty great videos, if Percy had to be honest. They, Jason and Leo, as Percy had come to know, were _amazing_ at video games and had equal amounts of… _personality_. They also did collabs. Both Jason and Leo have done collabs, and challenges- _and_ _how come no one asked if Percy wanted to be in a collab with them?_

As much as Percy wanted to hate them for growing that popular so quickly, he really wanted a collab. It would definitely boost his popularity, and numbers. A benefit for both parties really.

"Those two idiots uploaded a new video." Percy scowled, inwardly pouting. He clicked on the video, unplugging his headphones.

"You mean Jason and Leo?" Nico mumbled. "I'm subscribed." To be honest, Percy was subscribed too.

" _What_?" Percy turned around, exasperated. "You can't be subscribed to them. You're _my_ fan."

"Whatever." Nico rolled his eyes. "I uploaded your video. Apparently there was no way to edit out your face."

"Ha _ha_ ," Percy stuck out his tongue. He played around with the web page- _ignoring the fact that jasonleonican uploaded something twenty minutes ago, and it already has a comment war-_ until he landed back on his channel again. Weird, someone said something on his discussion board?

 **jasonleonican:** just got challenged by **b** **eautyqueen**! wanna do the chapstick challenge? or are you scared?

"Well, crap." Percy said out loud, and Nico glanced over his shoulder.

"Do it."

"But-"

"Do it."

" _Why-"_

Nico sighed. "You want more coverage? Do it. Schedule a date or something."

"Fine." Percy rolled his eyes. "I'm only doing this, because I can't edit any of my own videos."

* * *

Much to Percy's disappointment, Jason and Leo turned out to be really cool people. He was hoping that maybe they ate children, and murdered civilians, but turns out they were great. Normal, really.

Leo works at a garage when he's not taking classes, and Jason's an intern for some big company. They seemed happy with their lives.

"Chapstick challenge?" Jason frowned, staring at the plastic bag thrown in the middle of the floor. He folded his feet neatly. "Did you steal these?"

"Nah," Leo leaned back, so he was leaning against the side of the bed. "Pipes gets a bunch of stuff to sponsor in her beauty videos. Plus, her mom buys a crap load of makeup and junk."

Nico eyed the bag warily. "Do you guys have a camera? Sorry, ours has no more film and stuff."

"Yeah," Jason nodded, standing up. "Follow me." He lead Nico out, leaving Percy with Leo.

"So…" Percy trailed off, glancing around the room. They were obviously in Jason bedroom, with all the trophies and photos plastered around. There was a gigantic picture of a man (who Percy assumed was Jason's dad) sitting in the corner of the room, that seriously creeped him out.

Leo shifted through the bag on the floor. "Some pretty nice flavors. Are you allergic to anything?"

"Nah," Percy leaned forward, his fingers trailing the edges of the bag. "Anything weird here?"

Leo glanced at Percy, and then back down into his hands. "Who the heck makes _Tuna_ flavored chapstick?"

"No _freaking_ way," Percy gasped. "Lemme see."

Leo tossed it into Percy's lap. Percy slipped the stick into his pocket ( for safekeeping, of course. Not because Percy actually wanted to keep it. Because that would be childish and ridiculous.)

Percy slid his hand into the bag. "This one is butter flavored. Just plain ol' butter."

"Sounds _butter-ful_." Leo snorted, digging his hand into the bag. "Cool, we have mango."

"And apparently, ketchup flavor." Percy blanched. "These are some weird things. Who even makes them?"

Leo shrugged. "Some dude was just like, _hey, we like ketchup and chapstick, right? Why not both?_ "

Percy laughed. "Oh, yeah. _I think your lips should taste like butter. Who doesn't like the taste of butter?_ "

" _I can't believe it's not butter."_ Leo stifled a badly suppressed laugh.

"Alright." Nico said, walking through the door. "We're ready to roll."

"Where's Jay?" Leo questioned. Percy rolled his eyes at the nick name. How close were the two YouTube stars anyway? There was an awful lot of pictures of Leo around the room.

"He said something about girlfriend." Nico fiddled with his camera. "We're putting this on Leo's channel, so Leo should lead."

Leo rolled his eyes. "Not the girlfriend!" He glanced at Percy. "Wait, do you have a girlfriend?"

"Nah," Percy said. "Haven't found the right person for me."

"Right-o!" Leo agreed, shuffling through the plastic bag. He pulled out a blindfold and winked. "Ready when you are. I don't have a gf or bf either."

Nico gave Leo a simple signal, who started off with his usual introduction, one that Percy easily recognized from his internet-stalking.

"..and this is Percy from _FlyingPersea_! He's going to help with this challenge, for now." Leo gestured to raven-haired man, who waved towards the camera.

"Don't choose something gross." Leo warned, as he slipped on the blindfold. Percy rumbled through the bag. Of course he was going to choose something gross, but _what_?

Percy made a face as he fingered over a tube. It's perfect. He rolled it over his lips, smacking them loud enough to cause Leo to giggle. "Come here, and lemme make you taste this wonderful flavor of love."

Leo laughed, and leaned forward. His lips briefly touched Percy's, before retracting immediately.

"You're a terrible person." Leo wiped at his mouth furiously. "What _was_ that?"

"Pizza flavor." Percy wiped at his own mouth. "Tastes gross."

Leo frowned. "Is that even legal in America? That's the worse slice I've ever tasted."

"You can have a slice of me, if you want." Percy purred. It's great to have lots of extremely sexual and/or gay implementations in videos. Really brings up the ratings.

"As long as you doesn't taste like that. Choose something else." Leo pushed the bag closer to Percy.

Three minutes later, Percy learned that Leo hates strawberries, likes the pineapple flavor, is conflicted about the root beer one (they both were) and absolutely loves saying, " _I can't believe it's not butter_."

"Mmm, this is good." Leo licked his lips again. "Is it some kind of cupcake?"

"Cake batter," Percy untied Leo's blindfold. "I guess it's your turn."

"Damn." Leo scrunched up his face. "I was sorta close. But I can't believe it's not butter."

"Oh my God." Percy stared into the camera, with a look that read, _Really? I'm stuck with this dude?_

He tied the blindfold, as Leo spoke towards the camera.

"Ready for this?" Leo snickered, as he applied on a flavor.

Leo's lips pressed against Percy's, and Percy realized it's a _lot_ different being kissed, than actually being the one who's kissing. Percy's tongue flicked out against Leo's bottom lip.

"This tastes like freaking magic, and rainbows." Percy commented, sucking on his own lips. " _So_ great. It's amazing, what the hell _is_ this."

"Unicorn Piss."

"Your joking," Percy's jaw opened. "No way is it actually named that."

"I know, right?" Percy could hear Leo snickering. " _I can't believe it's not butter!_ "

Percy heard Nico let out a tiny laugh in the background, as Percy sighed.

Leo smacked his lips loudly, and Percy could only assume he had put on a new flavor.

When Leo's lips touched Percy's, something happened. Percy leaned forward, using one of his hands to hold Leo's head steady. Leo's lips tasted really good, and sugary- _like soda_. Whatever flavor, it was, it tasted good. More than good, it tasted _fantastic._

And then Leo opened his mouth. Percy wasn't sure whether it was on purpose or not, but he stuck with it. By stuck with it, he stuck his tongue _in it_. As in Leo's warm mouth that taste suspiciously like the Unicorn Piss, that _also_ tasted fantastic. If Leo had applied both the Coke and the Unicorn Piss, Percy would've died, and landed in Chapstick Flavor heaven.

Nico coughed and muttered something about _PG-13_ , and Leo pushed back.

"Uh," Leo said awkwardly.

"Coke?" Percy couldn't resist saying, after ripping his blindfold off.

"Yeah," Leo said, before grinning. " _Yeah._ "

Leo turned to the camera, to dismiss the video. When Nico snapped the camcorder shut, Leo scribble something down, and tossed a chapstick tube into Percy's lap. "I'll help you edit it," Leo said, motioning for Nico to follow him out the room.

Percy glanced into his lap. A red Coke flavored Chapstick had been tossed, and around the slender tube, was a tiny note. Percy unraveled the note, careful not to smudge any words.

 _you just got one new like ;) -leo_

* * *

 **Notes: a short thing, due to a week challenge with me and my lovely friend across the world. kudos to one of the most under appreciated ships: PerLeo. also, YouTube!AU, because i've never actually seen one before.**

Disclaimer: I dont own pjo and the characters blah blah, i dont own _i cant believe its not butter_ because that is an actual slogan/brand

 **wait, is it even butter? i always assumed it actually was butter...**


End file.
